Baba Yaga Ghanouj

Who is Baba Yaga?

I don’t know; I don’t have time to explain. That’s clearly a link. Click it (but don’t forget to come back here. PLEASE. I GET LONELY).

Anyway, a Eastern European folkwitch has nothing to do with this recipe other than I am obsessed with crazy females of folklore (hence my other blog, Raging Banshee. plugplugplug). Also, you know… the whole “Baba” word.

Getting back on the topic I never started: I had an eggplant slowly softening and developing brown spots in the fridge (don’t worry–no mold, you’re good, or says all the old Italian ladies when they cook their slowly fermenting eggplants). I really wanted to make homemade Baba Ghanouj, as Redbeard and I both are addicted to Middle Eastern food and, well, eggplant.

We had a jar of tahini we have never opened… alas, the cap and seal twisted off, making me unsure of its safety (Yes, I’m sure it was fine. Yes, I am that phobic). Oh no, most baba ghanouj recipes called for grilling the eggplant… and the grill is closed up and hoping to stand up against the 60 mph winds outside!

So, as I always do: I adlibbed.

Ingredients

• One large eggplant (softer is better, just like I say about my ice cream and my women, but not my men… if you get my drift).
• Four tablespoons Olive or Pomace oil.
• One large lemon.
• 1/2 to 1 teaspoon cumin (to taste). You can leave this out if you so desire.
• Two-three cloves of garlic (also to taste; add more if you so desire, you vampire-phobe).
• Pepper (to taste).
• Salt/salt alternative (to taste).

Prep

• Move oven shelf as close to top as possible. Preheat oven to BROIL (set your oven to broil, set temperature to broil, or 500, whatever your oven tells you).
• If you have a food processor (or a really strong blender), get those clean and ready. They are not necessary, but they make things easier (just like I like my women).

Instructions

• Place the eggplant in the oven to broil for 15 minutes. Right on the shelf. You want this shit black and burnt (just like I like my… eggplant).
• After the eggplant is sufficiently darkened and/or crisp, take it out of the oven, set the oven to “bake” and 350, and place it on a baking sheet with the garlic cloves. Bake all of this for 15-20 minutes.
• Meanwhile, wash and massage your lemon (Roll it back and forth to get those juices moving… sorry this recipe has taken a turn for the sexual. Maybe I’m NOT sorry, though!).
• When the eggplant is done, peel off the skin–it should come off incredibly easy (just like the clothes of… okay, sorry, no more parentheses). If not, use a spoon to scoop out the flesh. Put the eggplant, garlic cloves, juice of HALF of a lemon, 1/2 or 1 teaspoon cumin, salt/salt alterative, pepper, and four tablespoons olive oil all in one bowl OR food processor.
• If using a bowl, mash that shit together.
• If you have a food processor… thank goodness you have one and don’t have to use actual effort like the schmuck in the step above!
• Blend everything together until smooth, or slightly chunky, depending on your preference.

That’s it! Garnish with some more lemon juice from the other half of your lemon, and parsley if you have it (we don’t, although we apparently have three containers of dried basil…).

This serves roughly four people with the following nutritional content per serving: 151 calories, 7g of carbs, 14g of fat, 1g of protein, 4g of fiber, and 3mg of sodium (Depending on how much additional salt you added; I always use potassium salt).

Serve with pita chips, crackers, cucumber spears, french fries, and/or the fossilized bones of velociraptors. Don’t worry. They deserve it.